WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE SO SAD?

Just came back home... and it's only Thursday. But let's be positive. Two days to go. Then get paid. And then to Italy and to the seaside. Get a nice tan, sleep as much as I want, take thousands of pictures, relax and no need to hurry.
I am incredibly tired, but I can't take the sleeping pill, so I know that I won't sleep. I have to get up in three hours to go to the doctor, so if I take the sleeping pill I'll miss the appointment. But with no sleep I'll be a zombie the whole day, cos I won't be able to take a nap in the afternoon, cos I have to go to the other doctor... Oh, Italy, no doctors. Just real people. The sea. Nature. I hope the place we are going to is small and not touristy. I hope there are lots of trees and sand and rocks and hills. Not too many people, not too many buildings. I always feel better in Italy. It always calms me down. It's an oasis. But of course, afterwards reality comes chasing me...
Tonight, outside the restaurant, there were parked a Lamborghini, a Ferrari and a Rolls Royce, together. I was waiting for a colleague who had promised to drive me home cos it was so late. So much luxury, pride, money and vanity in those three cars. Is it necessary? My colleague, Igor, drove me home in a motorbike. It was exhilarating. I think it was the first time I really go in a motorbike and it was great great great. I have decided that when I save up some money and I stay somewhere long enough I am gonna buy myself a Vespa. I have always loved them and now I know the feeling of going with the wind. I like it. Not the same as horse-riding, of course, but I'll have that at Mount Holyoke.