I came home from work, absolutely exhausted, although I had done nothing at the restaurant. I think my mind and my body have decided to stop working today. They they've had enough, they have no strenght left. And I was oh so sad. But then I realized that I had two hours for a lovely nap and I felt better immediately.
This morning I was almost late for work, cos it was so difficult to get up. Although the alarm clock did fall down on my nose.
Of course something happened and already one of the two blessed hours is gone away. I gave some food to the fish and realized one was missing. They like playing hide and seek. But this one was really missing. Until I saw him floating upside down and, even to a non fish expert like myself, obviously dead.
He was the one that wasn't eating well, so I wonder, what did he die of? Was it the heat? Was it because he didn't eat enough? Was it because he was overfed? Was it because he was too weary with this life? Do animals have so many choices regarding death or are we the only ones? What an irony if I should be responsible for his death by overfeeding him.
Tonight will be the end of my days at the restaurant. And hopefully the end of the sleeping pills to control the daily panic attacks. I'll send them a postcard in Thanksgiving or Halloween from Boston. Maybe go to visit in December, but that's about it. No awkward goodbyes. The few I care about in there already know or will know or, well, will forgive for not knowing.
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