As usual, when in a bad state, I cut my hair, somehow trying to get rid of all the pain, of all the negative emotions. I look at myself in the mirror and what do I see now?
No longer Sylvia Plath. I don't resemble her anymore, without my long waves. Now I am more like Assia Wevill. I just realized.
Yesterday I found a movie with Meryl Streep about Mt. Holyoke students. About "uncommon women". It shows what this institution is really teaching, what is really going on here. And it portrays perfectly one of my main fears, that of not becoming "amazing"... What if I remain an Assia, never a Sylvia? What if I don't get even that far?
Walls banging with my neighbours and their girlfriends celebrating St.Valentine's week. Of course, I am envious and I feel so down I've been checking flights to Italy for spring break... but I can't afford them. And that's how materialism killed the romantics.
They say a blizzard is coming tonight, and we'll be snowed in. Everyone is afraid-excited-expectant. What will it be like tomorrow? At least, no class. Maybe lots of pictures...
Aagghhh... I should ask my neighbours to keep it quiet. This is depressing. I really hate St. Valentine, specially when I do have a boyfriend with whom I would love to spend it, but we are so far away...
It is snowing... The winter snow is here.
3 comentarios:
One of the biggest fears is , for everyone, not be important in the field they love, not to be interesting even for oneself...But there are grades in this fear, sometimes you can feel paralyzed by not knowing what the next step should be, not knowing what direction you should follow to fulfill your pretensions...You don't have that problem, I think, you can manage perfectly to find the right path to pursue your target.
Other thing is that, maybe, you don't feel sure about your talent, or the quality of what you write, which is totally normal to every writer and a thing you shouldn't care about, as you are a talented writer, too many people would be wrong if this statement wasn't true.
The most difficult thing to find is self-confidence, trust in what your inside asks you to do, but if something I've learned from you was to listen to my inner voice, and follow my instincts.
I'm sorry I can't come and see your face and hug you. Are friends also allowed to celebrate St. Valentine? It wouldn't be fair other way, as I never have a boyfriend but on the other hand I've got a lot of friends!
I love you bibi
Guess what!!!
Sondre Lerche's concert
6th Apr '07 Paradise (w/TFD) Boston USA
Please, please goooo!!!
How's everything going?Are you two having fun?
I've got the erasmus english test ina few hours...I'll tell you later how it went...
Please providence send me to Edinburgh...I don't really know where I want to go...I just wanna go.
Cheers Bibi
6th april??
3 happy dead guys, live in buddha's!
we're gonna go...
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