As usual, when in a bad state, I cut my hair, somehow trying to get rid of all the pain, of all the negative emotions. I look at myself in the mirror and what do I see now?
No longer Sylvia Plath. I don't resemble her anymore, without my long waves. Now I am more like Assia Wevill. I just realized.
Yesterday I found a movie with Meryl Streep about Mt. Holyoke students. About "uncommon women". It shows what this institution is really teaching, what is really going on here. And it portrays perfectly one of my main fears, that of not becoming "amazing"... What if I remain an Assia, never a Sylvia? What if I don't get even that far?
Walls banging with my neighbours and their girlfriends celebrating St.Valentine's week. Of course, I am envious and I feel so down I've been checking flights to Italy for spring break... but I can't afford them. And that's how materialism killed the romantics.
They say a blizzard is coming tonight, and we'll be snowed in. Everyone is afraid-excited-expectant. What will it be like tomorrow? At least, no class. Maybe lots of pictures...
Aagghhh... I should ask my neighbours to keep it quiet. This is depressing. I really hate St. Valentine, specially when I do have a boyfriend with whom I would love to spend it, but we are so far away...
It is snowing... The winter snow is here.
